Life

What is life?
Well, my life are these 3 amazing little boys....
Well, they're not so little anymore....
They're my nephews.
They're my world.
I love them more than anything and anyone in the world.
I would do ANYTHING for any of them.
I would kill for them.
And as mad sa I get at them, they make me smile more than anyone.
They make me laugh.
They make my day.
I love them.
I miss them.
I never see them anymore.
I just... I want to see them.
I want to hug them.
To tell them I love them so much.
More than anything.
Tell them they'll never know how much they mean to me.
I can't take not seeing them on a regular basis.
It's killing me.
Inside...
It's the only feeling I have left.

I feel worthless anymore.
I feel.... used.
I feel like I don't belong anymore.
Like I serve no purpose.
That my goals..... are unattainable.
I feel stupid.
I feel... incompetent.
I feel that's how everyone thinks of me.

Seeing the red on my arm.... it was good at first...
But not anymore...
It's not enough.
I want to see more....
I'm done...
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